Lies

They always start as something small.
An electrified look between you and her, the accidental brush of your arms against hers, the seemingly innocent sms or email asking her how she is.
Then you started going out with her and you think,
I'm not doing anything wrong, we're just hanging out like platonic friends do,
but somehow when your girlfriend asked you where you were the whole evening you said you were caught up at work.

During one night where you and her were sitting on the soft sandy beach and listening to the gentle lulls of the waves, her fingertips touched yours and when you turned your head to look at her, her eyes, weren't they the loveliest you've ever seen?
You explained that said somehow you two kissed and one thing led to another and you spent the night with her.
We all know exactly what happened; you were thinking with your brain down there and forgot all about your anxious girlfriend who had been calling you the whole night and wondering if something bad had happened.

She was worried sick when your lips were tasting her cherry-flavoured lipgloss,
she was calling your office when you were sucking at her neck,
she was pacing distractedly when you were undressing her,
she was tossing and turning in bed the night before her important presentation when you were wrestling in bed with another girl..

When you woke up in the morning you felt a pang of guilt for the betrayal.

But you kept going back to the other girl, the first few times you kept telling yourself it will end tonight, but eventually, the guilt and secrecy was ironically what kept you going back to the girl.

The secrecy and unorthodoxy was alluring, it was delicious and irresistable.

Many a times you caught yourself grinning at your own talent of hiding both girlfriends from each other and juggling them so well.
How many men could do that?
You feel the adrenaline rush (and you love it) when you manage to avoid the crisis of having them meet each other, dispel their suspicions about your absences during the day and the unanswered phone calls.

You think that you might even be able to handle one more girlfriend.

You might have the flair of cheating but you certainly didn't understand women.
Women are naturally curious and suspicious, they read your sms when you're in the bathroom,
they open your email when you left your computer on when you went to work.

So, was it worth it when all hell broke loose?
The tears, mucus and yelling;
Did you still think you handle women very well when you saw the demure lady transform into a table lamp-throwing-machine?

Was it worth it for all the hurt and happiness you sacrificed just for your animalistic instincts?

And if she were gracious enough to forgive you, everytime she were to look at you she'll be reminded of the betrayal, everytime she closed her eyes she'll see you and the other girl together, doing indespicable acts of betrayal.

And everytime you looked at her eyes, there is the unmistakable veil of hurt and sadness.

Labels: story

♥Bid Farewell