Now I can eat at the same time as when I am looking at a picture of a rectal prolapse.
I think all of us nurses have become desensitized to the explicit full colour pictures of various diseased body parts due to enthusiastic bombardment by the various departments teaching about pathology.
I remember several occasions in class last year when we innocent young people just started lessons.
We reacted dramatically to the pictures on the powerpoint slides during lectures with an assortment of groaning and whining and some exclamations like "eeyer".
As the days went on such reactions evolved to milder responses such as grimaces and sharp intakes of breathes; loud exclamations were looked upon with disapproval.
If only such desensitization occured with other aspects of my life.
I am sure that I am significantly less reactive to events than I used to be,
(unless, of course, the subject is yummy babies)
it is the effect of disciplined control of the display of emotions.
Hui actually commented that I am calm - whee~ -..
Hui.
But I secretly know that I am not that calm la.
Its just that I appeared calm in some situations because I told myself beforehand that if I lost my cool I'll lose the game.
(sidetrack:
Talking about calm reminds me about a conversation some of us performers had in the changing room during DU.
Kevin the choreo asked me what I felt when I watched porn.
Kevin the choreo
I thought of the time I watched 'Two Girls One Cup' with *** and one other person and they practically convulsed and died in their seats and couldn't continue watching the clip anymore.
I thought the girls in the clip was a little bit weird and unhygienic vomitting into each other 's mouth and eating each other's feces,
but I was fit enough to finish watching the whole thing without suffering any major psychological damages.
So I replied, "Calm lor" to Kevin the choreo.
He fainted in his seat and I couldn't understand the commotion until I realised he thought I said "Cum" instead of "Calm".
Sigh.. )
Anyways.. Talking about calmness, I wish I could get annoyed less easily.
I've been receiving training from *** as well with the occasional sacarsm and abuse and kaopei and I certainly think I can withstand bad treatment pretty well.
But talking about withstanding bullshit, Alicia and Teguh (a.k.a susan) are the epitome of tolerating bullshit.
Alicia's stomach for mean behaviour is mother big.
I've seen people saying sacarstic things to her and comments that hurt normal people to which she just frowned and "okay.." and continued talking to the mean person like the mean person never said anything sacarstic.!
Same for Teguh.
These people totally spoil market for human beings.
For example, when someone is obviously being selfish and self-centered, a normal person will be annoyed and tempted to KaoPei or expose this selfish person.
('Expose' because this selfish person will try to act like he has no choice but do this selfish act. )
But if the supertolerators like Teguh or Ali are present, they will totally buy the reason the selfish people give for being selfish, all the while wearing the understanding smile and nodding the understanding nods.
Just making us normal people look bad.
Alicia/Teguh 
Normal Human BeingsAnyways I forgot what was the point of this entry...
*I wasn't talking about any selfish person in particular. So it is not you Don't Worry! :)
okay bye.
♥Bid Farewell
