♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
Are exams as soporific to you as they are to me and my roommate? During this period of intensive studying I take about 3 catnaps a day, each lasting about half an hour or so depending on my laziness. There are times when you enter the room at 5 pm and you can see my roommate and I pigging together with the lights all off.
**
The previous paragraph was written last night before kev, me and susan tried to study in the communal hall overnight together. I forgot what I wanted to write about already because too many things were said last night and I hope to be able to execute the change with honest and earnest support from my precious friends.
Yup, nat i’m talking about you too. I believe I can do it and so can you. =)
Love you people.
♥Bid Farewell
I actually spent $232 while shopping alone just now. Gosh I need some self-control considering that I don’t print money for a living.
I bought a pair of sport shoes, 2 pairs of slippers, 4 boxes of tissue papers, 1 pullover, 3 packets of wet wipes for the floor (they run out really quickly), studs and some stationery. I didn’t even get to finish purchasing stuff from my shopping list la. I gave my apples and packet drinks a miss cus I knew I wouldn’t be able to travel back to hall. I wouldn’t even be able to ask anyone to help or take a cab cus my hands are too full for me to reach for my phone or flag a cab.
You say, “You can always put down your shopping things on the floor to free your hands right, dumb?”
I’d tell you I’d rather stay overnight outside NTUC than let the plastic bags touch the filthy floor and subsequently come into contact with C313 floor because I freaking just cleaned the floor and the fan and the cupboard and washed my clothes and wiped the table top and.. oops sorry I got carried away, this is a sensitive topic.
Bottom line is, no way is unknown particles going to get transferred from the road to my room.
I lugged my 4 boxes of tissue paper and many massive plastic bags up the bus and as usual became a lump of obstacle at the door while I fumbled to tap my ezlink card as quickly as possible. I have the shittiest card in the world because it can’t be read from inside my wallet even though I already placed it nearest to the outer surface. I grew more impatient by the second as I tried to tap it again and again but it just plain refused to be sensed by the machine. Tapping became slamming and slamming became whacking until I realised the stares and also that violence does not solve the problem in this case.
Sigh.
How do people remain dignified while carrying numerous behemoth NTUC plastic bags? Don’t cool people shop for toilet rolls or clothes hangers or detergent and the like?
Oh right, they have cars or maids.
♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
That day I was watching titanic and that part of the movie I watched before I had to rush off was so poignant I cannot stop thinking about it. You know which scene I am talking about?
That part where Leonardo Dicarprio was sketching Rosie’s portrait la. Just kidding =)
The scene which the two of them were desperately clinging on to the railings at the bow as Titanic sank almost vertically.
They were the two most fortunate people on the deck despite their impending doom because they had each other. Death is suddenly not so scary when you have a partner, someone to leave with into the unfathomable unknown.
It is almost romantic to be able to end their lives together and be with each other eternally, in a way.
But the sucky ending which I always don’t get to watch killed Jack. Shit.
And it is always preferable to die in other ways than filling up the lungs with water; it wouldn’t be a good death. I suggest holding your breath, because if you’d pass out if you do that long enough hence you can get a second chance to regret that you even thought about suicide.
I just wasted half an hour typing nonsense.
♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
This uncontrollable compulsion creeps up to me when I’m not watching, seduces me when my defenses are low. I know exactly what I ought to and ought not to do. I know plainly the consequences too. However when the time comes for me to make a choice, I succumb. I’m embarrassed that my will doesn’t even put up a strong fight; it only makes a cursory timid shake of the head before allowing the compulsion to dominate.
And when the involuntary choice is made and the deed done, I look back at the mess created feeling a profound sense of revolt and disappointment with myself.
I fully know that it will happen over and over because perhaps, I don’t wish to be helped.
♥Bid Farewell
♥Bid Farewell
My neverending essay writing is finally coming to an end after a whole night up trying to quote and cite references from a hundred different journal articles. By finally coming to an end I mean that I have almost finished half of the minimum word count. Majority of my time was used up trying to look for phrases to quote which are all over the place! I think it would really save my time if I had eyes like these:
The compound eyes would allow me to view objects as in a mosaic whoa I get excited from just thinking about it. I might look freaky but at least I am fast.
Talking about excitement and insects, the fucking cricket residing in the tree outside my hostel window simply can’t shut up. It keeps screaming machiam it is having orgasms like that leh. The starting part of the scream has intervals of pauses then subsequently the pauses diminishes to nil. At this point it is a quiet scream, albeit continuous, then slowly, it will build up by increasing both in pitch and volume into a full blast screech as in a climax. That will last for about 1 minute before he dies of exhaustion. I’m assuming that the cricket died because the sudden silence is so abrupt that you’ll picture it freezing in mid thrust to free fall to the ground. Cardiac infarction, must be.
I feel so much more relax after those thoughts. Shall continue with my essay now.
♥Bid Farewell
The pus from blister came about from intensive soccer training yesterday which I pretty much enjoyed. The feeling of satisfaction from being able to manoeuvre the ball fluidly past a few opponents combined with not tripping over my own foot successfully lifted my spirits for the day. However I just felt something missing. I enjoyed playing the game it was so good but I felt empty somehow.
I remember being enthusiastic for soccer trainings in JC and reaching the pitch extra early on days with and without trainings.
I remember that when I contemplated skipping school to sleep in the thought of training always managed to perk me up to drag myself to the bathroom. Even when I skipped school I would still turn up for soccer trainings at 4pm. I thought it was for the love of the game but it was obviously not. The camaraderie amongst the teammates was so strong that we tried to spend every breathing moment with each other. Haha It sounds like I’m exaggerating but I swear we loved each other like.. we’d get married with each other if we could.
In fact, some of them proclaimed to be boyfriend-girlfriend or wife-husband or threens.
Its really a shame la that we don’t meet up anymore.
Sigh. I bet people reading this is super bored already I’ve written about this so many times.
Anyway I think I’ve written about Sheryl the inspiring leader before.
The one who has a super big heart that fills up so much of her thoracic cavity I wonder where her lungs go.
Recently I got to know this girl called Ling better who’s something like that too.
We worked together for this project titled, “what it means to be a nurse” which I learnt more than what it means to be a nurse. When I first spoke to Ling I was mildly annoyed by how she kept spewing self-righteous statements asking people not to do this and not to do that. I wondered to myself why she kept doing that? Was she trying to show that she was morally more superior that everyone else?
During that process of working for the project I learnt that she truly believes in what she says and the purpose of saying things was out of kind-heartedness. She kept stressing that the point of the project is not to compete with others and earn the highest points. That would be a bonus on top of our own learning which was way more important.
It is what we learnt during CME in primary school. Despite knowing that we should not pressure ourselves to perform because we don’t want to look bad in front of other groups, a little large part of us shallow creatures still glanced sideways to see how the other teams were doing. Maybe it was just me, only one shallow creature.
Anyway just two days before the final presentation, Ling, the best speaker in the group and among the 4 of us presenting, decided to pass her slides and script to M. To give him a chance to contribute.
Let me tell you something about M. He’s a really funny and nice boy but he is a boy. When you’re running a presentation rehearsal using a projector and you see the screen moving, he’s the boy who, oops, had been playing with the switch.
I have nothing against him except that this was our final presentation and we’ll be graded from the presentation and nothing else. No report or anything like that. 30% based on the presentation hence any screw up on that day will result in a heavy penalty on our cap.
As much as my jaw hit the floor with such force that I grew ulcers all over, my respect for Ling just increased and kept growing la. I love her so much for being such a big person. Big because (my vocabulary is very limited) she didn’t just pass him the script and abandon him there. He was a terrible speaker, please pardon me, who couldn’t stop shifting his weight from left foot to right foot. A bit like how an accordion pumps.
The amazing thing about Ling was her trust in him that he could do better. She kept coaching him about how he could speak better and engage the audience and improvised methods to help him. She is one person I think will make a fantastic nurse. Her ability to see beyond people’s flaws to reach out to help them become better people is just something everyone should learn. How can one person possess so much goodness?
It makes me think about a lot of things too. Like my attitude towards people with less good attributes. I agreed with myself a long time ago that I would not be obsessed about being friends with people who are good-looking or being in the popular crowd. (This is true! Look at how my friends look like. Just kidding!!!! Good-looking friends don’t disown me after reading this k.)
How about a person with less good attributes eg intelligence and EQ?
Do you judge them to be lower level human beings hence stay away from them? Or do you, like Ling, look pass these flaws, believing that there must be something more in them, and give them a chance? If you choose to stay away from less intelligent people, are you similar to people who stay away/ make fun of/ tease ugly people?
Disclaimer:
M is really a nice guy, he’s the one who buys lunch for us all the time! I’m sure he contributed to the group in a way or another, its just that he’s extremely playful.
♥Bid Farewell