I'd like to attribute many things I experience to PMS; but I am not having my menses now.
I can't explain this really empty feeling inside me, this damn Sian feeling that looms..
I take a deep breath and try to sigh that feeling out into the air,
but when I exhale,
damn, the doomed feeling is still well nestled inside me.
I'm alright, really.
Nothing bad has happened (unless you count that I am so going to get a C for 4 of my modules) and I've been enjoying my studying time with peeps like pea, caleb and the sheemeen whose table is always within walking distance.
Studying with pea is interesting because whenever I look up, she is frowning, or making a funny face (trust me, she has many) at the Tiong who can't stop yakking.
Speaking of that Tiong, seriously! no sense of shame.
He didn't even attempt to whisper when talking to his study mates, allowed his phone to ring loudly thrice, and spoke to the caller damn loudly.
He didn't even attempt to whisper when talking to his study mates, allowed his phone to ring loudly thrice, and spoke to the caller damn loudly.
Yup, so pea pea was slightly piffed.
hahaa sorry pea, but I enjoyed your facial expressions, they're too cute!
Caleb is another person who is damn fun to be with.
Non-stop hits of jokes and he totally entertains my lame jokes.
And sheemeen is always there 2 tables away in the library when I wanna consult her or when we need to whine to each other about how much of a bitch this module is.
Only nursing people will understand this pain.
haha..
Anyway, typing about these people and recalling some funny things is helping lift my mood a little bit.
I wish I could be made happy less easily by things and people around me.
I've unconsciously become so dependent on the little things external of me moving me along that when I'm left alone again I realise that
Its so quiet around here now.
♥Bid Farewell
gosh why am i cramping when i'm not having menses..
the paper today is a 50% disaster, like what I expected.
I left a short answer question (10marks) and 7 MCQ (3.5marks) blank.
Lets HOPE I'll do okay.
Please teach me how to say no.
♥Bid Farewell
boo~
I guess I have been carefully constructing my path to failure with the TV and youtube watching and somemore TV cum bonding with the ladies in my house.
Man..
May everyone else experience some sort of amnesia during the exam later.
♥Bid Farewell
Why I hate Exams:
- I am too lazy to study seriously
- I am distracted by many things, one of them used to be Bejeweled Blitz game on Facebook but it is no longer a problem since I entrusted Caleb with my account's password and he's to guard it with his life - from me.
- I am lazy
and the most important reason - I can feel my skin threatening to break out.!
Mortal fear!
Man, I have fear that it will become like what is was last year sem 2 :((((
hahaha I know you can't see properly but trust me, it was soooo bad that I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror.
very sad.
My skin used to be really good especially during the break after JC before Uni started;
I remember being carefree and happy and happy and happy working at night and sleeping in the day...
It was so good... I mean, my life.
See, nice right?
Hi, Menny!!! :)
man, i kind of miss Yiteng and HK times...
Talking about good complexion this pretty girl only uses tap water to wash her face and it is like whee~ so smooth!
hahaha I feel very vain writing this but this blog is for me to say things I can't really say to anybody...
so, go away if you can't take it.
And just go away if you don't understand the pains of having to deal with pimples,
you deserve to get a breakout - hahaha just kidding.
But ya, I don't wanna look like crap again.
Its quite sad.
♥Bid Farewell
I wonder how my dear friends in Germany are doing
♥Bid Farewell
I'm sleepy again.
If you interact with me on a daily basis you might realise that I have an unhealthy obsession.
I very much am tempted to blog about my obsession but on the other hand another voice in my head is telling me that I shouldn't.
For example, Hypothetically, I blog about how much I enjoy being with my TH Nurse clique but at certain times, I feel like I don't really belong because I am short and not pretty like the rest of them.
As depicted accurately - minus the crutches - by an outsider (of the clique) As*win,
this is how the clique looked; everybody is skinny except me.
this is how the clique looked; everybody is skinny except me.
Suppose I made it known that I feel uneasy and ill-belonged because of some inferiority complex and the girls come to know about it, they may start to act strangely, taking more notice of these feelings of mine.
Them acting strangely -> I feel even more self-conscious -> they notice it more -> everybody uneasy -> ByeBye Clique.
Hence I conclude that some things should not be said in front of some people because I don't want to tip the equilibrium of peace.
Boring is good.
But some things can't be cooped up inside for too long..
Different things can be shared with different people and because of that, I am really thankful for all these people in my life who are willing to be here.
Like the *** with whom I can have frequent inter-KaoPei-ing sessions without blemishing our friendship at all.
To ***: if at this very moment, you are thinking about how you will KP me when you see me later, for putting such an 'ugly' photo of you on my blog, trust me, I will slap you, very hard.
Hahaha. It is takes a great deal of Will to say No to you to go for supper together,
and that is not very good for my weight.
But I have to say I enjoyed Every Single Time we went to supper together :)
Even though I might leave for supper feeling anxious and grumble about the amount of sleep (gosh it is 330am now) I am about to lose that night, I always return to my room not regreting that we spent precious time together.
I feel like you are thinking, "really meh?"
To which I answer, "Of course la."
If I didn't enjoy your company why do you think I spend so much time with you.
hahahas anyways, just wanna say thanks for listening to me reminisce about PumpRoom and the JinYi and other people..
I wonder how hall life will be like without times like this..
♥Bid Farewell
My lovely brother poured normal saline water into my camera.
I don't get what's inside the heads of 8 year olds nowadays...
I trusted my brother enough to allow him to fiddle with it and he does this.
SIGH. The camera doesn't work anymore.
(I planned not to talk to my brother for the rest of my life but I couldn't bear to ignore him when he spoke to me just now.
For entire day today I kept asking him why he did it and if he would do it again and such questions, just to make him feel bad and for me to irritate him.
For example when he asked, "Er Jie can I use your computer?"
I will answer, "Hmmm, will you pour water into it like you did to my camera?"
And he replied, "But your computer has no hole for me to pour water into."
Okay he win already! He irritated me more than I succeeded in irritating him.
And then I did it again just now when he was playing with this free gift camera and my mother commented that the resolution was lousy.
I nonchalantly said to him, "Why don't you play with my camera?"
and he said, "But it is spoilt."
and I said, "Oh ya hor, I forgot.. "
Hahaha some of you might just start hating me now.
Anyway I said to him that I was sad, very sad that my camera can't be used anymore.
Which is 100% genuine.. No camera, no clubbing photos. :( no more baby photos no more qw's bro's photos.
My bro then replied, "Actually I feel very sad also."
Me: "Sad about what? I should be the sad one, I can't use my camera anymore.. "
Bro: "I am sad about myself. Because I am responsible for this."
Omg he's so cute I can die.
Okay la forgive him. )
He did it on the day when I was about to take my first clubbing photos.
Clubbing photos
- are taken with an outstretched hand
- have bad lighting where its all dark except for the flash in our own faces
Here is an example:
This photo isn't a clubbing photo; it was taken on stage during curtain call at DU.
But it was alright cus Shing and Ray had cameras. :)
We didn't take much photos but it was really fun.
Photo taken with Ray's shaking hands. hahaha
He claimed that he meant the focus of the photo to be the Singapore Flyer in the background, not us.
That is Rachel and I being unwilling to take picture with Ray.
Is that why you were Emo the whole night?
Oh shit.. I'm so sorry. :(
Hehehe I finally found another friend who didn't want to leave the dancefloor!
Shing! oops no photos with you..
I realised that there are quite a number of songs that requests for us to
"Put your hands up!"
And we obliged.
Is that why my arms are so tired this morning?
Pearlyn the leggy babe.
There are so many advantages to going clubbing with a tall girl like Pearlyn.
Especially if you are me, that is, you need to pee 5 times for each alcoholic drink taken.
Everytime we left other people to go to the toilet and came back to the crammed dance floor,
it doesn't take much effort to spot the pretty girl's head jutting out from the crowd.
And Huiyi!
The main concern of last night was to NOT let you get drunk.
hahaha people were So Sure that you were going to get drunk and die on the floor but you didn't.
Huiyi you have disappointed me, I was eager to see you do your drunk jellyfish thing - I heard so much about it.
Some people do not like to go clubbing because they feel unsafe and people grope them.
But I never get that often, until yesterday, somebody's hand just kept touching my waist.!
I traced the origins of the hand and realised it belongs to Huiyi.
hahaa Hui Yi probably thought I was high - which I was not and cannot ever be - and was trying to keep me safe.
*** or somebody once established with me that I can never get high, I only become sleepy.
Hahaha I told that to Shing and she said that I haven't drank enough.
Hmm but a lady knows her limits!
I don't think I want to try drinking more than needed to induce the sleepy state because I believe nobody is strong enough to bring me home.
Wells, I really think we should go out and play again :)
♥Bid Farewell
Now I can eat at the same time as when I am looking at a picture of a rectal prolapse.
I think all of us nurses have become desensitized to the explicit full colour pictures of various diseased body parts due to enthusiastic bombardment by the various departments teaching about pathology.
I remember several occasions in class last year when we innocent young people just started lessons.
We reacted dramatically to the pictures on the powerpoint slides during lectures with an assortment of groaning and whining and some exclamations like "eeyer".
As the days went on such reactions evolved to milder responses such as grimaces and sharp intakes of breathes; loud exclamations were looked upon with disapproval.
If only such desensitization occured with other aspects of my life.
I am sure that I am significantly less reactive to events than I used to be,
(unless, of course, the subject is yummy babies)
it is the effect of disciplined control of the display of emotions.
Hui actually commented that I am calm - whee~ -..
Hui.
But I secretly know that I am not that calm la.
Its just that I appeared calm in some situations because I told myself beforehand that if I lost my cool I'll lose the game.
(sidetrack:
Talking about calm reminds me about a conversation some of us performers had in the changing room during DU.
Kevin the choreo asked me what I felt when I watched porn.
Kevin the choreo
I thought of the time I watched 'Two Girls One Cup' with *** and one other person and they practically convulsed and died in their seats and couldn't continue watching the clip anymore.
I thought the girls in the clip was a little bit weird and unhygienic vomitting into each other 's mouth and eating each other's feces,
but I was fit enough to finish watching the whole thing without suffering any major psychological damages.
So I replied, "Calm lor" to Kevin the choreo.
He fainted in his seat and I couldn't understand the commotion until I realised he thought I said "Cum" instead of "Calm".
Sigh.. )
Anyways.. Talking about calmness, I wish I could get annoyed less easily.
I've been receiving training from *** as well with the occasional sacarsm and abuse and kaopei and I certainly think I can withstand bad treatment pretty well.
But talking about withstanding bullshit, Alicia and Teguh (a.k.a susan) are the epitome of tolerating bullshit.
Alicia's stomach for mean behaviour is mother big.
I've seen people saying sacarstic things to her and comments that hurt normal people to which she just frowned and "okay.." and continued talking to the mean person like the mean person never said anything sacarstic.!
Same for Teguh.
These people totally spoil market for human beings.
For example, when someone is obviously being selfish and self-centered, a normal person will be annoyed and tempted to KaoPei or expose this selfish person.
('Expose' because this selfish person will try to act like he has no choice but do this selfish act. )
But if the supertolerators like Teguh or Ali are present, they will totally buy the reason the selfish people give for being selfish, all the while wearing the understanding smile and nodding the understanding nods.
Just making us normal people look bad.
Alicia/Teguh 
Normal Human BeingsAnyways I forgot what was the point of this entry...
*I wasn't talking about any selfish person in particular. So it is not you Don't Worry! :)
okay bye.
♥Bid Farewell
My elder sis took MC today cus she was feeling sick.
I think I am down with some bug too, feeling nauseous and uncomfortable..
This nausea is kind of worrying as we all know what being nauseous points to..
But its impossible for me to become pregnant (oops I said it) because I am the most innocent person around the block and I am not asexual like our friend desmond.
Clara says that Desmond is like a flower (some flowers are asexual).
Why Am I Feeling Nauseous?
Possibility 1: I ate WAY too much the Crystal Jade Xiao Long Bao at Holland V last friday.
There was a lot of food on the table, so we naturally felt obliged to finish eating all the food.
We ate about 12 x 5 xiao long baos.
These Xiao Long Baos are actually free flow, the only limit to the number you can eat is the depth of your stomach.
And our stomachs are really, much deeper than you can fathom.
If you're good at inferencing, you should be able to tell how good the Xiao Long Baos were and how much we adore it from the looks on our faces when we're cradling them.
Because the service was unusually tardy that day, we had more stomach rest time to do other things..
Such as
Playing with prawns I don't eat. (hahaa unless you're kind like the flower mentioned above to help me peel the prawns. )
and trying to recreate the smokey eyes effect like Linda did for me for Dance Productions.
We failed la.. There was just smoke and eyes, no smokey eyes.
The food took too long, we got edgy and decided to just cook Shing's finger.
Anyway I was really 105% full at the end of the bingeing session
So full that we didn't enjoy the xiaolongbaos so much anymore.
That is the poor last Xiao Long Bao that got despised.
Could my nausea be caused by the Xiao Long Bao baby growing from that day's crazy buffet?
Possibility 2: I secretly want to have a baby so I'm imagining this nausea shit.
Let me show you why.
My cousin Vincent, I mean his wife, just gave birth to a cute little girl.
Don't you wish to have one too?
Singaporean baby has jaundice..
CHIO!
I wish I could hear you gushing at the following photo.
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Eeks TOO CUTE
The baby giving a damn shiok face.
Stop reading here if you do not wish to spoil your impression of this baby album
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heehee.
ooh baby baby, I've been waiting for your birth for too long..
fluffy soft baby :p
I didn't really lick her .
I kissed her though. whee :)
Hey you guys go populate the earth. and let me play with the baby...
♥Bid Farewell
