Testing out a new blog now..
♥Bid Farewell
Papa asked zizixuan a question and zizixuan gave a fabulous answer.
Papa: do you love mummy?
Zizixuan: yes
Papa: Why do you love mummy?
Take a moment to think what answer you would give.. is it cus she clothes you and feeds you.. cus she raised you.. cus she treats you well?
Zizixuan's answer: Because she is my mommy.
That answer, sweet and straight to the point.. It is as simple as that and it ought to be so.
**
Last night me and wanjia were accusing zizixuan of destroying the internet modem as my laptop was just not connecting to the internet! so frustrating.
This is where brothers and sisters are useful in venting..
Me +wj: what did you do to the internet???
Zizixuan: I didn't tamper with it.
Me +wj were shocked at his vocabulary..: where did you learn that word from?
Zizixuan: Oh I picked it up from the TV.
Zai leh my brother.. At 9 his vocab is like mine when I was 14.
Labels: Zixuan
♥Bid Farewell
Today was not supposed to rain because it is little Zixuan's 9th birthday.. I was planning to head straight from my final theory test at woodlands to Marina Barrage to celebrate his birthday. I passed the FTT with flying colours (49/50). Zai. But the truth is, without the help of past year MCQs I would have failed.
Anyway.. I was quite excited about this family excursion.. We were armed with kite and all ready..
But then I got news that the event is cancelled due to bad weather conditions. Boo~
Caleb is cute with kite sticking out of bag. :D
Since we were out already.. we went to watch RED. hilarious! It is a different kind of action movie with funny tricks. Watch and you'd know what I mean..
So on the way back to campus I was feeling a tad disappointed about the cancelled outing and got thinking about whether it is possible to throw our kite out the little window and get it flying..
Me and caleb discussed it and I realised that in order to catch wind in the kite, we need to be in the highest floor or at the corner block of the whole estate.
Then I asked Cal that if we were to buy another HDB flat, could we choose the corner house at the highest floor?
He totally understood me; "Because you want to fly kite in the house is it? ok."
Huge love!
♥Bid Farewell
Its 4.30am and I’m still up but that is normal because we’re in the midst of exams.
Mine have ended but I’m just accompanying one miserable boy who’s still cramming for his last paper, which is in 4.5hrs.
I’m not at all relieved that my one exam of the sem has ended..
I’m not denying that the paper was quite a killer but I feel that it was the easiest part of everything we have had to do this semester.
I’m still in the middle of amending my CSR protocol, amending my primary research proposal and worrying a lot.
I worry a lot nowadays.. or did I use to worry a lot previously too?
It is getting more and more difficult to fall asleep .. sometimes I spend 2 -3 hours pretending to sleep.
Like I told my mei mei, the trick to falling asleep is to pretend to be sleeping.
Not working that well now.
One night it was got really bad and depressing because my sleeplessness invited wild morbid thoughts about death.
I thought mostly about my parents and my mommy and her 160/130 hypertension and all the nasty things (e.g. stroke, heart attack….death) we tell our patients.
And it got me thinking how scary this whole deal of having a chronic disease is. All the serious complications if nothing was done about the illness.
It doesn’t help that the nurse tells me about the worse case scenarios; it scares the shit out of the patient that the situation becomes too much to cope and pretending nothing is going on is the easier way out.
People can use a little more empathy, patience and understanding.
Anyways. I am worried about my parents getting older.. Makes me wonder how much time do we really have left..
Reminder to self: must cherish people now.
♥Bid Farewell
I read on facebook something about the channel 5's swapping of "I am Legend" with the movie "I robot" and got curious so I went to google to see why that happened.
From the forums I found out that Mediacorp did it out of respect for Mrs Lee's passing.
I was totally amused when I read the comments on various forums..
Some of my favourite comments from xinmsn's website:
"I was shocked when "I am Legend" was not shown at 7. I was even more shocked when the caption that the show was moved to a later date due to respect for the late Mrs Lee. What has the show got to do with respect? I would understand if they cancelled the movie and show something to do with Mrs Lee but this is totally ????? "
"Can't wait to hear to what extent is i-robot a more suitable movie than I am Legend."
"what's the link between I am Legend and Mrs Lee"
And the last comment rocks the most. haha.
I was talking to my mother about it and found out that she didn't notice the change in programme..
Then she asked the same question about how changing the movie has got to do with Mrs Lee and she gave herself a really good answer..
You know.. If you watched I am Legend you'd notice that Will Smith was the last one standing on earth..
So my mother came to the logical conclusion that they didn't want to broadcast the show and evoke such feelings from Mr Lee... what insight my mother has!
♥Bid Farewell
The buying house plan was a bust.
We went to the HDBhub for our flat selection appointment only to learn that we were going to have problems getting the HDB loan.
An alternative to the HDB loan was the bank loan or no loan.
The bank loan will cost us so much more because of the much higher interest rate..and because we are not as loaded as I keep saying I am..
We decided to give up the flat.
I shed about 2 tears after we left the office.
We were so hopeful about the house you know..
We spent so much time talking about how nice it would be once we get the house in a few years' time.. we'll have a place to call our own.
and then suddenly this home was not ours anymore.
I probably should stop getting emotional about this again because we're still young. Sure there will be other BTOs coming up we'll probably find one that we like even more.
When we left the HDBhub that day we came to the conclusion that this estate was fucked up anyway. haha.
It did make us feel a lot better.
♥Bid Farewell
Yesterday as me and alicia were walking out of M10 after lecture I asked Ali what she was going to do now..
Me: Going to eat lunch?
Alicia: ya.. I feel like going to donate blood..
Me: Really ? Okay lets go now.!
And so we went to NUH's blood donation centre after we had lunch at the canteen there.
Me and alicia thought we were going to get rejected from blood donating because we were rejected before..
Me for being underweight and alicia for her low BP.
haha! just kidding! Me was rejected before for my eczema on my right arm.
So when we went there alicia really had too low a BP reading and drank a lot of water to boost the blood volume while I went ahead to donate blood first..
This lancet thing is what we use to prick our patients to test their blood glucose levels.
And every time I use it I feel a pang of guilt for causing pain.
But when the nurse used it on me yesterday to test my blood hemoglobin it didn't hurt at all.
Phew~
Maybe it was cus the nurse shortened the length of the needle on the lancet.
I should probably do that for some of my patients.
and when the nurse swabbed my left arm with alcohol to prepare for the needle insertion I was so freaking scared.
When she came with the needle filled with anaesthesia, 20% of me wanted to run away.
Wah but she was really good with the needle cus it didn't hurt too! amazing.
Then she came with this huge ass needle, 50% of me was scared, like really scared.
But excited too.. Just like the exhilarating but nervous feeling just before the roller coaster descends from its peak and drops us into free fall..
Which reminds me about T-express in Korea.
Alicia and I were both excited about taking T-express the second time!
and we both spontaneously agreed to go donate blood!
Perhaps we're into the exciting tingling feeling of pain and fear..
Nice :)
I know I'm getting older cus I didn't use to feel dizzy after blood donation.
It was black in front of my eyes every time I stood up for the entire day.
and the worse thing was I started to vomit my lunch out about 15 mins after the blood donation..
I vomited probably 6 more times while waiting for caleb to fetch me home..
I can't believe I got food poisoning again!?
Nobody gets this vomiting illness so many times in a year seriously.
This is abnormal.
Really hate being sick you know?
I was saying to caleb that I am not suitable to have a Stomach..
I probably should have gastrectomy.. If I didn't have this weak stomach I would not keep vomitting.
And caleb replied absentmindedly, why don't you remove your rectum....
?@#%# right?
♥Bid Farewell
Sigh why are my hands so itchy?
Yesterday before 4 pm I sent my systematic review protocol to Turnitin.com even before my supervisor approved of this latest draft.
So I sent it to Turnitin and got the originality report back almost immediately.
Thought I was lucky cus I heard about how Turnitin sometimes take a few hours.
So I itchy-handedly went to edit some parts of this draft and resubmitted it to Turnitin.
Super kaypo. Shouldn't have done that. Cus it is true that the second submission will take about 24 hours or longer to process the second one.
UGH.
And I didn't save the first originality report before it was overwritten by the second currently processing one. :(
So now I'll just have to wait.. and hopefully make it for the Deadline today at 6pm.
Next time I will not act hardworking and kaypo go and edit here edit there.
I will just be my usual nua-self and hand in whatever whenever it is ready.
The protocol has been a bitch to do seriously.
Especially the search strategy part.
For each of the databases which we're going to search we have to list exactly the words and how we're going to search.
Let me show you..
Example1
(“Experience” OR (“Life Experience” OR MM “ Life Experience” OR MH “ Life Experience+”) OR (“Perception” OR MM “Perception” OR MH “Perception+”) OR “Meaning” OR “Meaningfulness”) AND
((“Child” OR MM “Child” OR “MH “Child+”) OR “Pediatric” OR (MM “Pediatric Surgery” OR MH “Pediatric Surgery”) OR (MH “Child, hospitalized” OR MM “Child, hospitalized”)) AND
((“Pain” OR MM “Pain+” OR MH “Pain+”) OR (MM “Postoperative Pain” OR MH “Postoperative Pain” OR “Postoperative Pain”) OR “postsurg* pain” OR “Surg* pain”)
This is still not perfect yet lor.
The aim is to capture ALL the articles relevant to my topic.. and different databases have different codes and styles of searching.
Super time consuming.
That time me and alicia were trying to do this thing, and her list was like soooooooooooooooooo loooooooonnnnnngggggg because she is naturally long-winded and she included a lot of 'OR's to make sure that she put in all relevant words.
So we thought that since her list is so long it should be all-encompassing and it might retrieve too many journal articles from the database which might include irrelevant ones as well.
So we typed in her list and tried the database.
It came out as "Your initial search yield no results".
(-_-") so frustrating.
Must do all over again.
I'm going back to waiting for Turnitin now. boo
♥Bid Farewell
don't i hate travelling to school.
even though the traveling nowadays means a ride in caleb's car it is still reallyyyyyy getting on our nerves that there is such heavy traffic.
Today I left house at 7.15am and reached NUS at 8.55am. grrr.
I so miss staying on campus.
I have a 2 day week this sem but I still come to school whenever I'm not too tired because nothing gets done at home.
Tried to do my protocol yesterday and ended up watching 7 episodes of a HK drama on PPstream.
sigh no choice gotta get my lazy ass to school to do work..
There's air con in the library too!
Was just telling caleb how I was going to stay in the library on my own this morning...
Me: I'm going to be in the library all by myself later.. so lonely :(
Caleb: Don't worry..............................Its normal.
Sigh what kind of consoling is this?
haha.
So every single morning I meet caleb i'll ask him how I look..
Me: baby do I look pretty today?
Caleb: Yes dear you look very pretty..
Me: You're lying.
I choose to ask him this kind of questions where there is only one politically correct answer and when he says it, I call him a liar.
poor caleb for having to take this nonsense everyday.
haha but in my defense it is the prerogative of girls to pose these sort of questions to their boyfriends! really!
If the guy is zai enough he will know how to handle it.. just like caleb. :)
Enough wuliao stuff bye off to do my proposal...
♥Bid Farewell
Aren't class outings the best thing ever?
I got to meet up with old graduated classmates after so long. whee~
Some more my class is so exciting..
We didn't just have a dinner gathering, we had a theme Paper Faces on Parade.
Cute huh. :D
Alicia is blur in the picture.! [ =>Alicia is blur]
Anyway must thank Alicia for booking this function room in her estate..
With susan and Maddie the organiser.
Topics that are totally inappropriate for the occasion.
How can anybody talk about such sensitive things with so many people milling about the room!
Phew that I got saved from interrogation by Huisan..
Not sure who made this pile which was at the door when we arrived.
So swweett:)
The outing was definitely cathartic.. after crying to Lingz (and all who were unfortunately around) about how I crappy I felt about school.
I didn't mean to cry at such a weird occasion but I couldn't take it when Lingz mentioned how much she misses our class and how she ate alone during lunchtime.
And apparently a lot of people feel the same way about school too... its just different. :(
But Cal is right about something too.
It is already the best situation now.
If I had graduated and went to work I'd be totally alone at KKH without Huikoon and Caleb will be busy at school too. That definitely sucks more.
Somehow school seems much easier after that weekend..
I do feel less stressed and less alone..
And for pride (not glory) have I chosen to do Honours..
Its not about grades anymore - I'm destined to be a second lower.
So the right thing to do now will be to be strong and hardworking and persevere.
Its the last lap after all.
Its a good thing I have Caleb here to be my emotional pillar of support.
Caleb's class outing.
Such good attendance for class gathering after 8 years!
Nice :)
♥Bid Farewell
I know it sounds a little crazy and like asking for it..
But do you girls think about your boyfriends' ex-es?
Cus I do that a lot and I interrogate him about them.
and it drives me nuts and insanely jealous sometimes.
I feel like I've been betrayed somehow by the fact that he has had such intimate relationships with other people before.
I understand that it cannot be counted as betrayal as this is history and could not be undone even if he wanted to.
Can't help feeling like "What?! you hold another girl's hand before?" or "What?! you pat her head when she's sad?!" or "What?! you've been with her to this place before?"
because he's only allowed to do these things with me and me only!
Because this is an exclusive relationship!
Poor him
And the worst part is that he apologizes about it (or is compelled to).
I should really stop doing that.
♥Bid Farewell
There's a research proposal which I have not written a word on due soon on top of other pressing deadlines.
Feel so dead. =S
Its not helping that susan shimin gerry ling etc who used to be my last minute do rush assignment comrades have graduated...
I miss you guys so much man.
School's quite depressing and very different
(haha no offence but...)
Why didn't you guys study harder to do Hons.??
Why??
Then you all would be in this together with me now..
Then I will not feel so alone like I'm the only one who's lagging behind so badly the cream of the crop of the class that is left now. :(
I count my blessings for having sweet gentle Muffin-baking Alicia and Caleb.
But still generally sad.
Anyway.. I did my very last rag performance for hall this year.
Wow never thought that I'd get to feel so old among the year 3, 2 and freshies.
haha.
Shimin with really bushy hair here. :P
This is my favourite person ever. :D
My mom saw this costume and thought it was nice.
She even suggested that I could wear it out.. as in to the streets on a normal day since it looked so nice. ( -_-")
Event to look forward to next: Nurses' Grad dinner happening tmr.
♥Bid Farewell
School has not even started and I'm resenting the my fyp already.
What a start.
I wonder if the curriculum was designed with the intent to include week -5 to week 0.
Complaints aside I'm relieved as well about my CAP scraping through for me to qualify for Honors..
I bet I will dread working as much as Hons.
I like last year this time soooo much more than this year this time.
Last year this time I was only busy with rag dance and flirting with Caleb.
Last year I had a room in TH and didn't have financial concerns.
This year this time I read the schedule for year 4 and felt my imaginary balls sag from stress..
On top of that, I fret about how much time I am going to waste travelling from Pasir Ris to NUS because I have no room :(
This year this time I need am forced to be more prudent about my finances....
♥Bid Farewell
Wanjia (my younger sis) was telling me that her friend's mouth was stinky 95% of the time.
haha.
How terrible is it to be that person?
Imagine not being aware of that and going around talking to people at close proximity.
No wonder people have these constant grimaces.
WJ is so funny.
She said if they were sitting in lecture without talking to each other, and started talking AFTER the lecture, the mouth is "Woa Smelly".
Hhahahahaha!
Then I updated her that my own mouth was smelly too!
Sis replied that she knows, but its not so bad because mine is only smelly when I am sleeping and when I just wake up.
And that is why when we sleep on our Queen size bed together she always has her back to me.. hmm.
It doesn't help that I drink more water or eat mints during the night my mouth will still harbour this pungent smell.!
Horror.
When I first knew about it years ago I was quite despondent..
I wondered if my husband could take it if he found out that my mouth had such nasty characteristics. :(
I thought married people wake up in the morning to their loved ones to kiss each other good morning or rumple in the sheets BEFORE brushing their teeth.?
I guess I'll be denied that.
That will be Caleb going "Whats that toxic gas? *GAG* "
Ooops sorry cal for drawing exposing your modesty with that drawing.
Today is my 7th consecutive off day!
Up until last night (5th day of sickness) I was still definitely not good enough for work so I preempted my clinical instructor Faridah that I might not turn up for work today.
She very kindly asked the Sister (Nurse Managers are called Sisters) to swap my off day to today!
She said it is so that I would not have to see a doctor to get MC one more time.
WOOHOO SHE ROCKS!
But today's day off came from Saturday.
Means I will have to work a PM shift on saturday.
And Faridah being my preceptor, has the exact same shift as me, is sacrificing her weekend off....
So kind of her. Sobs.
Sorry Huikoon for not being around with you this week!
I was still having diarrhea last night! :S
No more vomiting at least...
Disgusting stuff ahead:
Qian: My diarrhea is ALL water leh. Greenish yellowish water. Its like peeing through my a-hole.
Cal: Is it painful when you need to da-bian?
Qian: No.. I just feel vibrations in my intestines.. Then I know they are coming.
Cal: Thats weird. I think you should try to hold in your diarrhea. Don't go and pass motion anymore just hold it.
Qian: SIAO!
Cal: Seriously! You're not giving the intestines a chance to absorb the water!
Qian: But if my intestines absorb the diarrhea then I'll have shit in my system!
Cal: -_-" Thats it. No more going toilet for you.
I am so hungry after not eating a proper meal for 6 days :(
Sakae Sushi food!!!
At a restaurant in PS with Ling Siok and Brit..
So hungry.
♥Bid Farewell
One more thing to add.
I hate/love the expressions of doctors when they ask me to stick out my tongue.
The shock on their faces when they see the tongue stud.
haha. Cheap thrills..
♥Bid Farewell
Vomited in the pantry - oops sorry nurses! the toilet was unavailable! - and was chased home by the Sister.
I went to the polyclinic with my concerned mother who was going to demand a referral letter to A&E CGH if nothing else could be done by the polyclinic doctors.
I also felt indignant that the doctor I visited yesterday gave me this fucked up attitude as if I wanted to be sick!
"So why are you here again?"
Me: "I still feel nauseated."
Dr. Lousy Chuang: "Yes you came to visit yesterday right so why are you here again?"
Me: "I don't feel well so I need an MC."
Dr. Lousy Chuang shakes his retarded head.
SO RUDE and CONDDESCENDING! I had no choice ok! I was on my way to work and I vomited.!
Was it my fault that your treatments are not working and caused me so much distress?
Idiot still act like I was here to chao-geng from work.
Perhaps on my part I was too upset and unwell and alone that I couldn't speak properly so he misunderstood... ohwells. still annoying
From yesterday's experience I prayed so hard that I wouldn't get the same annoying doc today.
And if the doc today showed me such attitude I was SO GOING TO VOMIT ON HIS TABLE AND PRISTINE WHITE COAT.
Boy was I lucky to get this nice Dr. Tan Teck Shi and his medical student.
He took my problems seriously, listened to what I had to say, answered me and my mother's doubts, explained to me clearly the medications, and actually did a proper physical examination on me!
The other two previous docs simply took what I said at face value and didn't even palpate my stomach. Cui.
Don't you just hate self-assuming and arrogant people?
I'm supposed to collect my stool (shit) in this small brown bottle for culture.
I always wondered how people collected their own stools..
Do they place the bottle at their anus before starting?
Or do they scoop from the toilet bowl.
I was planning to do the former when my mother warned me not to fill the entire bottle with shit as that would be toooooo gross.
Just a small scoop will do.
haha so funny.
Imagine if I brought the bottle choke full of shit back to the polyclinic.
That will be so embarrassing!
Perhaps from this post you can tell that I feel better already thanks for the concern :D
I lost 3kg by the way I would go through this again to lose weight if I could skip the vomiting and diarrhea. haha.
People! wash hands before eating ok!
♥Bid Farewell
I'M SICK i'm sick I'M SICK. :(
I'm sick therefore I have the right to whine about how unwell I'm feeling and how I have taken 2 days of MC already.
Taking MC is no fun at all because I'll have to make it up by the end of this week which means i'll be working 7 days in a row when I start work.
Boo.
I'm supposed to stop vomiting and feeling nauseated after the meds but the meds are not really working for me.
Now my parents suspect that I am pregnant.
My dad even congratulated my mom that she'll have another baby to play with soon enough.
so funny har (-_-")
I'm obviously not pregnant unless my constant talking about my non-existent baby made me pregnant.
Lets see..
IF i were pregnant I would not do year 4 anymore..
I would just start work since its the end of year 3 now.
Then the baby would come in January 2011.
Okay Cal's going to smack me on the head for this.
Oops.
Please gastric please stop making me vomit.
♥Bid Farewell
