Mdm woo thought that the sticker on my shoulder is a real tattoo.
I didn't she was talking about me with another colleague as they were speaking in cantonese, until she said mei mei [as in little sister] and raised an eyebrow in my direction.
[Sorry can't take a close up, its indecently hairy. So indecent it was making me blush,]
That butterfly which looks more like a scorched skin coloured with charcoal?
Haha.
I quickly explained that it was leftover accessory from last night's float parade.
Its a sticker don't worry, I just don't bathe frequently enough to wash it off.
The time I spent in the toilet with the running water sounds was just me trying to take pictures of myself playing with water.
Chingay is FINALLY over.
Whew.
Last night the float parade was held at Chinatown, a beautifully decorated place, to celebrate the end of chinese new year.
The few of us, Joyce and Nani, hung around in our full gear costume for about 3 hours doing nothing before the parade commenced.
Doing nothing includes posing with people to take photos and explaining what our outfits are about.
Most of the people who talked to us were old uncles who had quibbles with each other as to who could take pictures with us first.
There was an uncle who zoomed the photo to my face and showed it to me,
saying, 'You look better in close view. haha.'
No, I look fat.
I had to answer the same questions over and over and over and over.
Yes I AM Chinese. I am NOT malay.
Why would I lie to you can't you tell from my make-up that I'm chinese.?
Lets talk about something else other than my race okay?
And that bobbing waving person over there, where have I seen you before?
Oh, I just remembered, I waved to you two minutes ago,
and I said hi two minutes before that, and waved to you two minutes before that.
You think I wouldn't recognize your bobbing figure just because you shifted places?
It was funny how these people tried to get the best spot to take our pictures as our floats travelled two rounds on that road.
What did they want those photos on their handphones for?
They're going to delete it sooner or later with the poor resolution and lighting.
So in order to not waste the pain of having cramped cheeks,
I made it a point to only pose and look directly at professional looking cameras.
I think I got a few laughs for almost falling off-balance when the float jerked.
Standing at 4 meters high, I almost got decapitated by overhanging lights and poles which said,'height limit:4.5m'.
So exciting! I almost died!
My cheeks were still twitching when my papa came to fetch me with my mummy and brother.
My mummy totally spoilt my mood when she asked me why I always acted very eager to get married, in an accusing tone.
Where the hell did she get the idea from?
After some soul searching I realised that it was myself who promised her that I WILL get married by next year.
See I'm worried about passing my childbearing age without the chance of passing on my cute genes.
I'll be doing an injustice.
By the way I might be going to Hong Kong in a month or two.
During my stay there I sincerely hope I can find Andy Lau to make babies with me.
Ideally I want him to carry the baby in his stomach but I doubt he has an uterus,
so I'll have to make do and use mine.
Don't fret about me being an unwed mum.
I'll keep my child only until he turns into a smelly boy and then give him up for adoption,
or even an auction.!
Boys after the age of being small and chubby are not worth keeping anymore[just imagine the smell!] with the trouble they'll cause and porn sites they'll surf.
Ugh.
Yah my brother, he's going to be given away on his next birthday.
Any takers?
♥Bid Farewell
C H I N G A Y - THE GRANDEST PARADE IN ASIA.
I have so many things to complain about.
Whining is my hobby.
Because the list of things on my 'to whine list' is so long, I should talk about how much I enjoyed it first.
It was such a colourful and glittery event it made me want to throw up on the psychedelic costumes.
While waiting on the road for our turn to perform I so badly wanted to sit right there on the prime gallery seats to watch the parade.
We could hear the music beating away and it sounded like a good show.
All in all it was a good experience I'm glad my cousin and I shared our first Chingay performance together. She took care of me quite well, I must say.
15 year olds nowadays are more dependable than 18.5 year olds.
Pictures!
Sorry I don't have many pictures actually.
It was really difficult to balance the camera on my headgear or on my glittery heels or anywhere for that matter because I had to dance. Plus I couldn't keep the camera anywhere unlike our oh-so-adorable malay friends who could keep those inside their cleavage.
Cleavage I so love.
From left to right: Zul, Nani, me.
Haz, my new friend from Cheng San CC.
Fazly, who sees me in town frequently but doesn't say hi.
The face in the background looks eerie and I'm PISSED that the eyes didn't roll around maniacally.
HAIFI'S TWIN!
The first time I saw him omg I was so happy that I was going to get my $40 back.
So I squatted down beside him[he was squatting on the floor too] to take a better look at him.
This boy had haifi's thing brown[dyed, of course] hair, same eyes, same nose, but alas, different teeth.
Ugh. Anyway, he's haifi's twin.
Something my cousin drew on my forehead.
China.
Applied all those on my own. Effort.
My complaints start here:
OMG the headgear it weighs a tonne, it was so painful because it was a size too small for my fatty head.
It's colourful and featherly but do you know how damn tight that bloody thing grips our heads.? The feeling can be simulated by wearing a helmet filled with little stones and tightening the strap. Do it! You'll feel SO ALIVE after that.
At the launching ceremony the PA dancers are supposed to stand in a line to await the arrival of Nathan. Did you see us?
We stood there under the spotlight, unable to move or pee or look grumpy for HALF AN HOUR.
It got so stuffy that my whole body started to sweat and feel cold at the same time.
I swear I hadn't been so unwell before I felt like throwing up.
The malay girls next to me were worried because my tears were falling uncontrollably and I was going to throw up! Live on Channel 8! Oh great because the Mediacorp artiste just said that we were 3 minutes away to Nathan's arrival!
I tried taking deep breaths to swallow the impending vomit.
So I turned around to look away from the crowd.
And this photographer was pointing his Bigass Lens at my Full-of-Vomit face.
He placed it so near to my face my breaths formed mists on the lens.
To make him go away I smiled with vomit in my teeth.
He gave me an 'okay, good.' handsign and proceeded to delete the photo from his camera.
I thought I wouldn't last till Nathan walked down the float and started the ceremony.
I did, thank you Whoever's Up There.
The end.
I'm glad that Nat and friends enjoyed the show!
And that my mummy came to watch me!
I think she was quite excited to see me in thick make-up and fairy costume.
**
Yesterday I had to go for the Chingay street parades.
Our job was to stand on the float and wave to the Bedok residents.
It wasn't so bad because we didn't have to walk or dance and the weather was cooling.
The challenging part was to keep the smile plastered onto our faces which was the omgggg-the hardest thing to do.
There was nothing to smile at.
Our cheek muscles had spasms so bad they trembled and we couldn't not smile anymore after the first half an hour.
After a while I got to stand at the top of the float which I enjoyed so much.
The view! I could see all the cars and residents squeezing in the crowd just to take our pictures.
My head could almost touch the traffic light and the overhead bridge!
Once in a while it feels so goooood to be taller than everyone else.
I must say I like enthusiastic aunties and uncles.
The way they wave.. its hard to describe.
Must see to laugh. They use their entire body to say HI!
They raise their hands high up and create a wavelike motion with their whole body starting from their hands to their toes.
The cutest ones bob up and down bending their knees from time to time.
I wonder if they know how ridiculous they look.
I learnt a lesson too.
That is to ignore the mats[is it spelt like that?] and bangalas.
The mats are really disturbing and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE we met around bedok.
Bangalas, lets not talk about them because you know and I know.
I honestly thought that those were statues.
Until I saw one of the 'statues' blinking and looking back at me.
Poor things, these little children.
They were so real in pretending to be statues.
Its unnatural for children that small to stay in awkward positions for long hours.
Very cruel too.
Labels: Chingay
♥Bid Farewell
I bet nobody will look at the dancers when the Chingay parade's going on next week.
Our People's Association float sponsored by Eu Yan Seng is so gorgeous you wouldn't give two hoots about us.
Our float features a woman's face, some clouds and trees.
Sounds boring?
Wait till you see the woman's eyes, so captivating and enchanting that you will want to dig them out to keep for memorabilia's sake.
We know what happens right after Tom gets whacked: His head will spin, his pupils turn around and around in the socket until he falls over unconsious.
My float can do that too.
These engineers have a great sense of humor, wiring the eyes such that they roll around in opposite directions at different speeds.
Since the eyes are malfunctioning, they might as well add a hysterical cackle and make the woman blow fire through the mouth to enhance that effect.
It'll be a blast.
Is it bothering you?
Cuz it IS bothering me, I can't stop laughing when we enter the parade with this crazy looking, eyes-rolling thing.
Labels: Chingay
♥Bid Farewell
