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Monday, May 14, 2007


Getting sick and injuries are such wastes of money.

Yesterday my foot was so painful I couldn't walk.
There was no choice but to sit on the wheelchair when I was waiting for consultation in the Changi Hospital.
My brother almost killed me a lot of times when he pushed me into the walls with such force, thank goodness I didn't get new injuries.

The first thing to do on my list was an X-ray scan.
I guessed there would be a huge X-ray screen where they can see my bones only.
I planned to do a cha-cha behind the screen and ask my mother to video it, just the bones.

For people who haven't been X-rayed before, they strap you onto the cold hard metal table, and inject you with some liquid intravenously and strip you to let the machine do its work. Be warned, its an agony.
Just kidding.

The nurse was so weird.
He asked me, 'Its your left foot?'
When I said yes he proceeded to place my right foot under the machine.
I let him do it and only when he was done with the wrong foot did I remind him that my left foot was on my left and not his left.

After the X-ray, I had to travel to the other room via my mighty wheelchair.
Sitting on the wheelchair was the most peculiar experience.
My mother dumped her wheelchair bound daughter to be on her own in a strange place with her handphone so I couldn't call her while she had lunch with an old neighbour outside.
So I was alone, on the wheelchair, being stared at by normal walking people.
I wanted to get out of the wheelchair because I wasn't an invalid and the stares of pity made me really uncomfortable.
I figured that it would be 10 times more pathetic having my call number ringed many times while I commando crawled into the room.

I got over the weird stares from people in a while.
Wheelchairs at the hospital was surprisingly easy to maneuver so I didn't manage to run anyone over.
I also got to use to diabled toilets correctly for the first time!
Despite the roomy space and handles at the side I think it was still insufficient to make things easier for disabled people.
They should invent wheelchairs which can fit nicely with the toilet bowl such that the hole is directly below the ass when you insert the wheelchair with the toilet bowl.
The user only needs to push a button to open the seat of the wheelchair without standing up.
Understand?

It would be much harder to close the seat again after doing business.

At this stage I think the ass washing by the toilet bowl is appreciated.
I'm always so tickled[figuratively] by this ass washing technology.
Did you realise that the nozzle aims only at the asshole and not the urethra?

I have a story about girls' urethra.
There was this time a boy wanted to sort of 'break-up' with me through smses, saying sorry and all, in his last sms he asked me, 'I have one last question about girls that has always troubled me.'
I said okay what do you want to know?
Him: 'How many holes underneath do you girls have? Do you pee through the vagina?'
Me: Ask your mother.
Why did he have to ask me such questions when I was feeling so upset?
I tried to google for the name of that orifice but a lot of porn links came up so I gave up.

The answer is 3 holes but I have no idea what the name of the peeing one is.
Urethra? I learnt that in biology.

Back to what I was saying,
Because I was only peeing at that time, this ass washing machine was irrelevant and did nothing else except wetting my ass.
Besides the choice of power of the spurt, I think they should include a joystick for the user to aim the flow of water for more thorough cleaning.

How lazy can people get?
I think my future house's toilet has got to include that.

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♥Bid Farewell

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


I have a small hit counter at the sidebar that I check almost everyday for curiosity's sake to see how many people reads my blog.
From the information given in the charts I can tell that Menny comes to my page 20 times a day don't know for what and somebody using Australia's network is reading this page too.
I wonder who.
I spend a lot of time editing and writing my posts do you people read them or just look at the pictures?
Please read the words okay.
And tell me if it makes you dizzy[except Melissa it is your computer].

Yikes Dentistry and Nursing interview tomorrow at NUS.
I've got no mood to go at all.
Just want to rot and play with my brother at home.

Labels:


♥Bid Farewell

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


What is it like to pee standing up?
Can the range and volume of the pee be controlled?
If too much pressure is applied will urine spray all over?
Because my brother and cousin seem to have major problems controlling their pee line.
Plus they don't lift the toilet seat cover, ever.


I HATE going into the toilet after my brother, especially.
He has no control whatsoever over his little brother and I can imagine the pee gushing out naturally and him thinking, I don't want to hold my birdbird because urine is so dirty.
You know how disgusting it is to have yellow puddles ON the toilet seat?
And the smell that lingers long after pee dries on the floor?
Its pungent and little amounts smell like potato soup sometimes.


Shitty things happen during the new year.
Like having a choked toilet bowl.


The day before, after doing my business I flushed and watched [Don't you love doing that too? Seeing what shape your poo is?] as the excrement gets swallowed up.
Except that the water that flowed down the side wasn't strong enough to push all the dirty things through.
I watched in horror as the brown fecal water rose ever so quickly in the toilet bowl.

I might have screamed, I can't remember.
The level had risen so much that it was threatening to overflow and form a poo fountain.
Just as I was about to have a heart attack the water level dropped again.
You have no idea what amount of relief I felt.


I was luckier than my auntie who was trapped in the toilet for AN HOUR.
A WHOLE HOUR while the family waited for her to go bai nian together.
Trapped because it is paiseh to let the whole family see the floating poo.
So she stood there hoping and praying that the screwed up sewage will let the poo mixture subside.
Poo things are personal and they have to be hidden away, even from the closest family.
The toilet bowl is already in its last stage after ten years of service.


Poo and toilet paper is prohibited and strictly speaking, only substances that can be filtrated is allowed.


The toilet to person ratio is now 1 is to 11.
Guests are coming over to my house in about 3 hours.
The ratio will become about 1 to 30.
I don't know if the toilet bowl can take it or not.

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